dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
