Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
