I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
