Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
