Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Randomize
