It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
