I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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