I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
So here I am, sexting at work.
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