Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
