why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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