Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
