so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
