Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
