So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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