You don't have asthma, your pregnant
she woke up with a sticky ear
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
