i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Still dying that you shit outside
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
