i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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