i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
