He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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