If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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