I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize