Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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