Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
