i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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