She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
