Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
