what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
The power of my boobs compel you
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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