Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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