is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
