I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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