We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize