i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
