you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
