Don't you send me to vm
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
