babies were throwing up all over the place
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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