Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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