similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off