I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.