I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
