It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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