So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
