I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
