Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
