wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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