i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
