That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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