quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
