perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
