Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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