I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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