Sponge bath it is.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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