so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
