So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
