Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
