omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize