new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
