Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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