Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
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He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
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2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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