I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
