the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
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I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
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I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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