He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
