my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
