Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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