i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
