Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
