the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
