I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
