I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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